I've been trying to put this one off for a while. Because (I know) I really don't like the Cowboys draft. It's boring and for the most part they might as well not have bothered.
First round pick; offensive tackle Tyron Smith from USC. Now, the Cowboys could have put every other offensive tackle in the draft into a hat, thrown the names up in the air and just picked one off the ground at random and probably ended up with a better player.
Smith is terrible. I've often said before that judging players is a matter of subjectivity. Certain people like certain players for whatever their personal reasons are. But there are some players who you just watch and you ask yourself how, how in the fucking name of the NFL did you anyone convince themselves that this player was a first round pick.
Tyron Smith is a great example. The guy is terrible. He's not even a seventh round pick. He's no pick. He's not even an offensive tackle, because by definition an offensive tackle is someone who blocks defenders but Smith doesn't even do that. He just flaps around ineffectually while making up the numbers on the line.
If you want to know why the Cowboys are in the state they are, this is why. You don't spank a first round pick on a guy like Tyron Smith. You bring him in to training camp as a rookie free agent and with the lowest expectations possible. You're essentially bringing him along in the hope that maybe, by some miracle, he'll start playing really well.
Of course that's a fools hope and that is basically what the Cowboys have signed up to here. This is just... astounding. On no planet, on no draft board, should Tyron Smith ever be even talked about as a first rounder. Or a second rounder. Or any rounder. Enjoy Dallas.
Next pick, Bruce Carter, LB, North Carolina. For some reason everyone loves Carter. I don't get it. What I've seen has been distinctly average/below average and no where near approaching second round pick status. Another wasted pick.
Round three. Running back, DeMarco Murray, Oklahoma.
Better. I like Murray. He has strength and drive. Vision is sometimes a little questionable as he tries to pick his way through the defense and sometimes runs into trouble when he should be running away from it. But overall a good back.
My problem is this. The Cowboys have Marion Barber, Tashard Choice and Felix Jones, three really good backs. And they don't even use those guys. They get maybe 11 carries between them per game. Now you've picked up ANOTHER back to just sit on the sidelines and watch? Nice going Jerry, you old, saggy faced, miserable clown.
Actually, why am I complaining? I hate the Cowboys..... Go Jerry! Go Jerry!
Fourth round; David Arkin, guard, Missouri State. No film, no idea. Given the record so far I'm going to take a punt and say he's bad. There you go.
Fifth round. Josh Thomas, corner, Buffalo. This is what I know about him, he's about 3 feet tall and he played for Buffalo. There you go. He's not anthony Gaitor and yet he was taken in the fifth. This annoys me.
Sixth round. Dwayne Harris, wide receiver, East Carolina. Now, Harris I can live with. He's not bursting with speed on the field and I'm not convinced by his route running, but he does have some good after the catch skills. His balance is good and he has a good eye for cutting behind defenders. Overall? Might make a handy slot receiver for the Cowboys.
Seventh round; Shaun Chapas, fullback, Georgia. Conveniently not starting on any of the Georgia film I have. Let's put it this way though, I had a pretty exhaustive list of players to look at pre-draft and if you didn't even make the list, chances are you're not worth bothering about.
Finally; Bill Nagy, C, Wisconsin. I love this pick. You know why? Because of mind numbingly dumb it is. Nagy started like two games in his entire senior year. Yet of all the players left on draft day, including probably 4 or 5 guards who were not only starters, but better players, the Cowboys went for this guy.
Normally at this point I would round the whole thing off with a summary, then I would spellcheck and grammar check, then add labels. I'm not going to. I want this to be a half finished piece that lacks polish, because that's all the Cowboys draft deserves.
Maybe one day Jerrah!! will admit that he knows about as much about drafting as Oprah Winfrey and hire himself a proper GM. Or maybe he won't and we can just carry on laughing at him and his shitty Cowgirls.